The Real Reason Students Struggle in Math: No One Explains the Why

Years before I started my own tutoring practice, I read a book that completely changed how I think about teaching: Start with Why by Simon Sinek. The basic idea is simple: rather than starting by talking about what they do or how they do something, leaders who inspire people start with why they exist in the first place.

In the business world, that means that rather than leading with product features, you lead with purpose. Why does this company exist? Why should anyone care? Once people feel that deeper reason, the what and how finally have somewhere to land.

The longer I have tutored math, the more convinced I am that this exact problem is what trips up so many students in school. Most of them are getting plenty of “what.” What steps to follow. What formula to plug in. What answer should come out at the end. What they almost never get is the why.

Most students aren’t great at memorizing disconnected recipes. Why would they be? That’s not how we as humans are wired to learn. These students have teachers who are showing them steps, but not meaning. It sounds like this:

“When you see this kind of equation, you move this over here, divide by this, and you are done.” 😑

Sure, this works just well enough for some kids to pass the test if they grind through a bunch of practice problems. But it does not build understanding, and it definitely does not build confidence. What I hear over and over is, “I can do it in class with the teacher, but when I am alone at home it all falls apart.”

When we only teach the what, math feels random and fragile. One small change in the problem and the whole recipe falls apart.

What it means to start with why in math

So what does “start with why” look like for a math teacher or tutor?

First, there is the conceptual why:
What is actually happening when we do this procedure? Why is this step legal? What big idea is sitting underneath this topic?

Take solving equations as a simple example. The “what” version is:

1. Subtract 3 from both sides.

2. Divide by 2.

3. Circle your answer.

The “why” version sounds more like:

“An equation is a balance. Whatever you do to one side, you must do to the other to keep it fair. Our whole goal is to isolate x so we can see what number makes both sides equal. Subtracting 3 from both sides and then dividing both sides by 2 are just specific moves inside that bigger idea of keeping the balance.”

Same steps. Totally different experience for the student. Now the procedure is connected to a picture in their head: a balance, fairness, keeping things equal. They are not just memorizing moves. They are working inside a story that makes sense.

There is also the purpose why:
Why should I, a teenager who is tired from soccer practice and homework, care about this at all?

Sometimes the answer is practical: “This shows up on the SAT, and getting comfortable with it now is going to make your life much easier next year.” Sometimes it is about thinking: “This kind of equation shows up whenever you are trying to figure out the break even point in a business or how long something takes to reach a certain value.” Either way, students lean in more when they feel that what they are learning connects to a bigger story than “because it is on the test.”

Motivation research backs this up. When students see their work as purposeful and interesting, and feel that their teacher supports them, they engage more deeply and persist longer, especially in subjects like math that can feel intimidating.

What I see as a tutor

Almost every new student I meet has lived in a “what only” world for years. They can often tell me the steps for a topic they covered last week, but if I change the numbers or wrap it in a word problem, they freeze.

Once we start zooming out and talking about why the math works, things shift.

In algebra, we talk about graphs as pictures of relationships, not just lines to memorize. In geometry, we talk about what area and volume really measure before we ever plug numbers into formulas. In calculus, we talk about change and accumulation in plain English long before we write f prime of x.

The funny thing is that when students understand the why, the what gets easier too. They remember steps better, because the steps fit into a structure that makes sense. That lines up with what math education researchers have found: conceptual understanding and procedural fluency feed each other. When students see how ideas fit together, their skills become more flexible and durable, not less.

A challenge to my fellow math teachers and tutors

If you are a math teacher or tutor and your students are not “getting it,” I do not think the solution is always more practice problems or more detailed step lists.

I think the invitation is to start with why.

Before you launch into the steps, ask yourself:

1. What is the deep idea behind this topic that I want them to walk away with?

2. How can I give them a picture, story, or question that makes that idea feel worth understanding?

Then teach the steps as tools to serve that idea.

This is what I try to do every day at Purpose Tutoring. I care about grades and test scores, but I care even more about helping students feel that math is something they can understand, not a foreign language they are doomed to fake their way through.

If we as math educators can start with why, I think we will see fewer kids shutting down and a lot more students quietly realizing, “Wait a second. Maybe I actually can do this.”