Walk Me Through It: The Magic Words Used by the Best Tutors

I like to listen to podcasts while I’m doing dishes. Yesterday, one episode sent me down a rabbit hole in the best way.

The guest was neuroscientist Andrew Budson, and he was talking about something that surprised me even though it feels obvious once you hear it: social interaction is one of the most demanding things our brains do. When you’re talking with someone, your brain is juggling language, attention, memory, emotion, timing, and a constant stream of feedback about what the other person is thinking and feeling. That is a lot of mental machinery running at once.

And as I listened, I had a tutor thought.

I’ve said for years that one of the fastest ways for a student to truly learn something is to explain it. Not just repeat steps, but explain the reasoning. So I started wondering: does the research on social learning and brain health connect to my favorite tutoring habit?

Spoiler: yes. There is a ton of research backing up the idea that when students have to put their thinking into words, learning gets deeper and sticks longer. I am absolutely the type of person who reads studies for fun, so I leaned in.

That is what this post is about. If you take nothing else from it, take this:

When studying alone isn’t doing the trick, the next move is often simple. Find someone and explain it.

Or, in the words of many great tutors: “Walk me through it.”

Why “walk me through it” works

When a student explains a concept out loud, a few powerful things happen at the same time.

First, it forces clarity. It is easy to feel like you understand something while you are reading notes or watching someone else do it. It is much harder to hold that same illusion when someone looks at you and asks, “Okay, how does it work?”

Explaining turns vague familiarity into a real test: can you organize your thoughts, connect the steps, and justify why each move makes sense? If you can, you are learning. If you cannot, you just found exactly what needs work.

Second, explaining naturally triggers retrieval. You are pulling the idea out of your memory and reconstructing it. That active effort is part of what makes learning last. Passive review feels productive, but it often fades faster.

Third, explaining reveals gaps you did not know you had. A student might be able to do a problem by copying a pattern, but when they try to explain why they did it, they realize they do not actually know what the pattern means. That moment is the doorway to real understanding.

This is one reason tutoring can be so effective when it is done well. The goal is for the student to think more, and to express that thinking.

What the research says in plain English

There is a well-established concept in learning science often called self-explanation. The basic idea is simple: students learn more when they generate explanations, not just when they receive them.

More recent research reviews and meta-analyses support this across subjects, and there is also math-specific research showing that prompting students to explain their reasoning can improve conceptual understanding and transfer. One math-focused synthesis by Rittle-Johnson and colleagues is especially aligned with what tutors see every day: explanation pushes students beyond “I can follow steps” and toward “I understand what is happening.”

That matters because most students struggle because their understanding is fragile. They can solve familiar problems, but as soon as the problem changes slightly, everything collapses. Explanation is one of the best tools we have for turning fragile knowledge into flexible knowledge.

When studying alone isn’t working, add a human

Of course we want students to be able to study independently. Independence is the goal.

But independence is built, not assumed.

When students hit a roadblock, one of the best things they can do is try to explain the concept to someone else, especially someone who understands the material well enough to respond in real time.

This is where tutoring and good teaching stand out.

A student explains. The adult listens. And then the magic happens: immediate feedback.

If the explanation starts drifting, the tutor can gently course-correct. If the student is mixing up terms, the tutor can clarify. If the student is skipping a key step, the tutor can slow them down. If the student is correct but unsure, the tutor can validate the reasoning and strengthen confidence.

That feedback loop matters as much as effort. A student can work hard alone and still rehearse misunderstandings for hours. In a good session, those misunderstandings get spotted and repaired in minutes.

This is also why tutoring that feels like a mini-lecture often misses the point. If a student is already hearing explanations all day in class and it still is not clicking, the missing ingredient is rarely “more explanation delivered at them.” The missing ingredient is usually the student’s own thinking, spoken aloud, examined, adjusted, and strengthened.

That is what “walk me through it” creates.

A simple example from math

A student can memorize how to solve a quadratic equation and still not understand what they are doing. They can learn the steps in a week and forget them in two.

But when you ask them to explain, something changes.

“Why are you factoring here?”
“What does this number represent?”
“How do you know that step is allowed?”
“What would change if the problem looked like this instead?”

Those questions force the student to build a mental map, not just follow a recipe. And once they can explain it cleanly, they are usually much closer to being test-ready than they think.

One of the best signs of real progress is watching an explanation evolve. At first it is messy and uncertain. Later it becomes organized and confident. That shift is evidence that the student’s understanding is actually taking shape.

How to apply this at home or in tutoring

If you are a parent helping your child, or a teacher, or a tutor, try this the next time your student gets stuck:

Ask them to walk you through their thinking.

Then, be patient. Give them time to form the words. Resist the urge to jump in too fast. Let the explanation show you what they really understand.

If they make a mistake, treat it as information, not a problem. You are watching the learning process reveal itself.

And if your student says, “I don’t know,” you can respond with something like, “That’s okay. Start with what you do know. What is the problem asking? What have you tried?”

That alone can unlock momentum.

Final thought

Studying alone can work. For many students, it works well.

But when it stops working, the solution is better learning mechanics. And one of the best mechanics we have is explanation.

So if you’re prepping for a test, rebuilding math confidence, or trying to make studying feel less overwhelming, try the simplest move:

Find someone. Explain it. Walk them through it.